In an attempt to counter the Tea Party movement that was initially dismissed but has now taken the left by surprise, a Coffee Party has been started. it is one of many new groups the left has organized to help push the collectivist agenda of the Obama Administration. Here’s 10 more you should know about before you go to the next Tea Party event.
1. The Oh My God I’ve Spilled Scalding Hot Coffee On My Crotch And Feel Compelled to Sue Your Company Party
This is the liberal contingent that feels nothing is their fault, that they are victims of society and feel they are owed something. Also known as John Edwards and America’s Liberal trial lawyers.
2. The Boone’s Farm Party
A grass roots movement of America’s wino’s who live on food stamps, welfare, soup kitchens and $2.49 a bottle wine, but still has a cell phone to take pics of the First Lady when she dishes up their free lunch.
3. The Generic Fermented Beverage Party
A highly organized group of openly communist activists who shun brand name beverages created by the evil capitalist corporations and drink only beverages produced within their own community. They feel that while their beer isn’t as high a quality as the beers created in the free market, theirs is morally superior and should be foisted upon the bourgeois, who will learn to appreciate communist beer… once the shortages make it rare.
4. The Billy Beer Party
This group is comprised entirely of the 12 guys in Georgia who still think Jimmy Carter was a great President…including Jimmy.
5. The Tears of Gaia Party
You’ll see this group carpooling in their Toyota Prius’ to the next construction site they plan to set on fire. They are committed to their collective delusion that humanity is evil and destroying the solar system with global warming, or climate change… climate instability? Whatever the latest name is. And they only drink melted glacier water because of the effect it has on their aura.
Here’s the last Tears of Gaia Party Rally
6. The Dos Equis Party
Not so much a political activist group, as a group of “undocumented migrant workers” having a picnic at the park between sub minimum wage shifts at Nancy Pelosi’s vineyard. Their main platform consists of labeling anyone who thinks border fences are a good thing as racist, and eating corn on a stick
Here’s a pic of the last gathering
7. The Chamomile Party
They claim to be Tea Party Patriots, but as we all know, Chamomile is Tea In Name Only. These are the ones wearing birkenstocks and shoving people while their friends take pictures for the Daily Kos.
Last seen in Massachusetts helping a Weekly Standard writer to the ground.
8. The Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Party
These parties are by invitation only and are attended by limousine liberals who enjoy standing around, sipping expensive wines and eating cheese while discussing the terrible state of America. Usually the solutions involve the collection of someone elses money by force and the wasted in government bureaucracy.
But at least they are doing something, so they can feel better making $20 million for spending six weeks making a movie
Here’s one of their leaders, firing up the troops:
9. The None Of Your Damn Business What We Drink Party
This scampy group is composed entirely of Union Thugs who may or may not be suffering from ‘roid rage, but will kick your ass if you so much as think about trying to get into that town hall meeting. So don’t even think of breathing loud.
10. The Two-Girls, One-Cup Party
Small liberal party that goes around demonstrating what they think the rest of America can do if they reject the collective. If you don’t get this reference, don’t research it. Just forget this one and consider this the “Top 9 New Political Beverage Parties.”
Trust me.
