Al-Sadr Comatose in Iran, Followers Vow Bloody Mess if Killed

Word is that Al-Sadr got a hold of some bad fries at McDonald’s…ok, I made that up:

Shi’ite cleric and leader Muqtada Al-Sadr was secretly transferred a few days ago from Iraq to Iran for hospitalization as he was comatose.

It was reported that his illness resulted from food poisoning.

His followers, being peaceful members of the Religion of Peace™, promised a “lake of blood” if anyone harms a hair on his head:

“In the event Sadr is harmed, Iraqi will them swim in a lake of blood,” warned Sheikh Sadeq al-Hasnawi.

Hasnawi is one of the top officials leading the movement in Sadr’s absence.

He said the cleric was currently in Iran “studying and mediating” in the religious city of Qom which is the Iranian equivalent of Iraq’s holy city of Najaf where Shiite clerics are educated and trained.

Hasnawi made the remarks in response to unconfirmed reports that Sadr was poisoned and was being hospitalized in Tehran.

I guess they are denying that he is even sick, saying that “Moqtada al-Sadr is in Qom to study and worship and pray. He is in seclusion right now, but this does not mean he will never return.”

If he does die, it could result in a serious increase in violence in Iraq. So, for the sake of our military, and those poor fools who would try to kill them, let’s hope it is just some bad fries and his tummy ache clears up soon.