When I was in the Navy, I took off from the flight deck in a helicopter and landed in a plane. I wasn’t really nervous about it at all.
I remember when I left the Persian Gulf. I flew from Bahrain to Italy, from Italy to Portugal, Portugal to Philadelphia, Philadelphia to Las Vegas, and finally Vegas to San Francisco. I unboarded one plane, waited for the next and then took off again. It was one long day. But I wasn’t worried about anything happening.
However, the other day I was pondering the idea of boarding a plane and flying to Washington, DC for CPAC. It gave me butterflies in my stomach. I explained this to my wife, who reassured me that everything would be fine.
I said to her, "It isn’t that I am afraid to die. I don’t want to, but really, it’s the idea of my children growing up without me. The idea of how hurt you would be if something happened. The idea of my son graduating and not having me there."
"And the fact is that I am totally powerless. I have no control over anything when I am flying. When I’m in a car, I am driving or can tell the driver to look out. But when I am in a plane, I have no control."
I paused for a second and said, "I just have to put it all in God’s hands."
Then a thought entered my head. It was one of those thoughts that, when I pondered it, I couldn’t claim it as my own because it was so wise.
The thought was, "You arrogant man. You think you aren’t in God’s hands when you drive?"
I sat quietly, my wife on the other end of the line, and I came to a realization. My life is in God’s hands all the time. It was the height of arrogance for me to think that just because I hold a steering wheel in my hands that I have some sort of control of my life. I don’t.
This realization calmed my nerves. I realize that while my life is indeed finite, it can end whenever God wants it to end, whether I think I have things under control or not. I am not guaranteed my next breath. It is a gift.
I still feel nervous about flying, but I know there is nothing I can do about it. I can only accept that I am in the hands of someone who loves me. And that’s good enough for me.
See you at CPAC.
Photo Credit:
