Do you know Ernie Chambers?

If you live anywhere near Nebraska, you have heard of Ernie Chambers. He has been in the Nebraska State Senate for a very long time, coming to work each day in a sweatshirt. For a lot of folks, he is an embarrassment. No, really. It’s bad:

Many Nebraskans voted for term limits for one reason: Ernie Chambers. Nebraskans hate Ernie Chambers. They love to hate him. It’s practically a state pasttime, behind only Husker football and talking about the weather.

Ernie has filed suit against God.

Take the time to read that again.

Chambers lawsuit, which was filed on Friday in Douglas County Court, seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.

The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is “Omnipresent”.

In the lawsuit Chambers says he’s tried to contact God numerous times, “Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant (“Come out, come out, wherever you are”) has been unable to do so.”

The suit also requests that the court given the “peculiar circumstances” of this case waive personal service. It says being Omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.

The lawsuit accuses God “of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.”

It says God has caused, “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”

The suit also says God has caused, “calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”

Chambers also says God “has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant “will laugh” when calamity comes.

Chambers said he filed the suit to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits. Right. That’ll teach ‘em.