I thought it was bad when California wanted to outlaw plasma screen televisions to stop global warming.

I thought it was expensive when Sec. Steven Chu suggested the price of gasoline in America should be intentionally ramped up to European levels to discourage driving.

I thought is was even more expensive when Australia wanted to tax procreation by forcing parents to pay a $5000 “baby levy” and an annual $800 carbon tax per child (I have five…right now anyway.)

And then there is the very real, very dangerous suggestion of assigning a carbon cap on each and every person, starting with the rich, limiting how much carbon they can expend per year.

But now, it’s gone too far.

They want to take my toilet paper.

It is a fight over toilet paper: the kind that is blanket-fluffy and getting fluffier so fast that manufacturers are running out of synonyms for "soft" (Quilted Northern Ultra Plush is the first big brand to go three-ply and three-adjective).

It’s a menace, environmental groups say — and a dark-comedy example of American excess.

The reason, they say, is that plush U.S. toilet paper is usually made by chopping down and grinding up trees that were decades or even a century old. They want Americans, like Europeans, to wipe with tissue made from recycled paper goods.

It has been slow going. Big toilet-paper makers say that they’ve taken steps to become more Earth-friendly but that their customers still want the soft stuff, so they’re still selling it.

Now the stuff I wipe my backside with has to be green? If this doesn’t show you the level of control these people want over you, then I don’t know what will. Again, they want to dictate what you wipe your butt with now.

This reminds me of Sheryl Crow’s suggestion that legislation be passed prohibiting people from using more than one square of toilet paper at a time.

Now, for those who think this is just silly, take it to step two: if they can dictate your choice of toilet paper, what else can they dictate?

UPDATE:

I was going to cross post this on RIght Wing News, but William Teach already beat me to it.  Great minds think alike.  He even used the Obama toilet paper. 

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