All American Blogger Methane Credits

Despite the alarmists preaching that the Earth is destined to become a celestial fireball, there is growing evidence that we are in fact heading towards global cooling. Action needs to be taken now to stop this from killing a kabillion people!

That’s why All American Blogger is pleased to announce the “Methane Credit.”

There is no time to lose, donate now!

Donate $1 To All American Blogger And Get A Methane Credit!

For a minimum donation of a one “green” back, we will drive our carbon producing SUV to the nearest cow, and feed it a can of Hormel Chili, ensuring the bovine stomachs produce only the finest quality and most potent methane.

Plus, you get a beautiful certificate to display to friends and family, showing your dedication to averting this global catastrophe.

Donate Five Bucks And You Get a Tin-Foil Hat Kit + A Methane Credit!

It is a dangerous world, and you never know when the enviro-mafia will try to beam propaganda directly into your cerebellum.

This kit prevents the beams from entering your head, and redirects them directly to Alex Jones’ radio bunker, somewhere outside Bohemian Grove.

You get the certificate, the kit and a warmer future, all for just a five dollar minimum donation to the cause. It also makes a great gift for the environmentalist in your life. We’ll customize it for free! Show that hottie environmentalist at the coffee shop how much you care. And as an added bonus, you’ll get our appreciation - at no extra charge!

*Methane Credits and Tin-Foil hats are for novelty purposes only - no cows will be harmed. Methane credits will be personalized with your name and emailed in pdf format. Tinfoil hat kits (if you actually want me to send you a piece of aluminum foil) will be sent through the mail. We do want to thank you for your donations, which will actually be used to support hosting and promotion of All American Blogger. If there’s enough left over, we’re gonna spend it on beer and pizza.